Surrealist Jokes by a 3 Year Old

Lea understands that people tell jokes. She does not however understand what makes something funny, as evidenced by the following spontaneous jokes told to me to delay bedtime.

What does a monkey get to eat a banana?
In a rocking chair

Why did the chicken cross the kitchen?
To EAT!  [must yell the last word]

What do boobies have to do with a chicken?
In the closet.

Baseball with Lea

I wanted to do something a little different when I came home from work today, so we played baseball. It was so fun. Sadly we marked the end of summer by taking our pool down, but that left the most perfect square for a tiny baseball diamond. We set paving stones out (we won't teach our 3 year old to slide yet) as bases and set up the T-ball set Lea got for her birthday. Dan sat as umpire/audience cheering us both on. Lea would hit the ball and run AROUND the bases. Dan thought it was so funny that Lea never touched the bases, but I was pleased she (usually) went the right way round the bases. We simplified the rules a bit. It was "whoever hits the ball runs around the bases." The other person runs and gets the ball and tries to get the batter out. But for us the only way to get the batter out was to tag Home plate. We kept the rules simple for Lea. Surprise, surprise, she beat Mommy 5-3. But I have to admit I didn't put my all into it. Plus we had a golf break in the middle of the game. So for a rather unathletic family a evening of "base-golf-ball" was something pretty different. And pretty darn fun!

Holy Hanna What a Vacation

In the wake of Ike it seems a bit trival, but really when has that stopped one of my stories. We just survived a big storm. When I left work back on Aug. 25 for my almost two weeks of vacation I said the only thing that could ruin our fantastic beach vacation would be illness or an act of God. Well, we had both.

Hanna really comes at the end of this story, but since I lead with it, I might as well continue. There were warnings the last half of the week and we kept our eye on it, flipping to the weather channel every so often. But the weather didn't give any signs of an impending storm. We had beautiful weather every day until Friday, the day before we left, and the day it made landfall. And then there was rain. Lots of rain. Lea didn't get to go swimming since they closed the pools, stowed the lawn chairs and put "no swimming" flags on the beach. But we let her play in the rain at lunch.

playing in the rain

We decided to stick it out since Hanna had not upgraded to a hurricane and seemed very loose in form. Nothing like Ike. Plus the locals all shrugged their shoulders and said "oh, we've had worse thunderstorms this spring." But as the storm hit around 1 am my mom and I got up and watched the news. I hadn't thought of the storm surge that pushes the tide up. I began to worry about flooding, but we were never concerned about the winds and rain. With winds under 70 miles an hour those buildings had seen worse. And we really had nothing to be concerned about. The wind blew, the rain fell and the waves crashed, but they didn't even seem to make it to the hotel property.

And we could tell. Did I mention we had the most awesome view. We were so close to the beach that we had to walk out on the balcony to look down on the sand. When we looked out the window, it was like being on a boat, all we saw was water.

Here is the view from our condo. Three sliding glass doors that opened to the ocean on the 15th floor. The only floor above us was the penthouse (which seemed to be occupied by elephants with a furniture moving fetish).


Bit ahead of myself I'm afraid, which happens when you start with the end of the story... 

So we left Texas around noon on Aug. 26 and drove for 16 hours split into two days through Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and on to Georgia. All of which got a mini playlist on my ipod. I had at least two songs for every state. Louisiana Saturday Night, Mississippi God Damn, Sweet Home Alabama and Devil Went Down to Georgia among the highlights. And ended up in Augusta, Georgia where we spent three wonderful nights with Grampy, Margartet and Tina. Lea and I slept at Tinas where Lea loved playing with Tina's kitten Cally.

The main attraction was swimming at Grampy's. Their pool is fantastic. It has a diving board which our new baby doll loved. Lea named baby doll Tree. Why, we don't know, but we couldn't disuade her. I say its karma for Dan teaching Lea to say "dirty Hippies" so now she's naming her babies Hippy-like names.

Tree the dolly was Lea's vacation present, a Rub-a-Dub dolly acquired from ebay. I had a Rub-a-Dub dolly that I loved, and I thought it would be cool to get one for Lea. So we got her, shipped from someone who throws away even less stuff than me who has a 3 pack a day habit. Poor Tree was like a doll shaped Nicotine patch. But after a few times of being hurled into the pool and a few trips to the bath and hair washing, Tree started to not stink. Now she just smells like your run of the mill 30 year old doll.

But what Tree did do was bring Grampy and Lea together quickly. It turns out the Grampy is the best baby doll saver in the whole world. Lea would make Tree "dive" and by that I mean hurling her across the diving board to fall face first into the deep end. She has her float so she was ok, but seldom floated face up.

So Lea would hurl baby doll into the pool and call for Grampy to retrieve her. They played and played the save baby game. We all also played catch with plastic scoop things and squirted each other with water guns. We also just had a blast swimming.
Tree the dolly goes for a dive.

Videos at Grampy's pool

But swimming and saving baby were not the only things Lea and Grampy did. Lea wanted to collect things in the backyard so Grampy brought out the pine cone pickers. They are these giant sissor like things made for picking up pine cones so you don't poke your hands. Lea demonstrated her awesome hand eye coordination and impressed Grampy who was happy to be left holding the bag, tee hee.


Tina had to teach school all week, but took Friday off. On Friday we had a big dinner at Tina's with Miss Gladys (and her faboo blueberry crumble, YUM!). Then after nap we all went swimming. I don't know who had more swimming, Tina or Lea. Tina had Lea jumping in the deep end off the diving board. Tina would catch Lea and took a few lumps for her efforts. But Tina had Lea diving off the board with no one really catching her. And then Lea stole Tina's hat.

Lea and Tina


Tina and Lea


As I said Lea and I stayed over at Tina's. Due to the kitty cat, Dan could not stay with us. It worked out ok. Until Thursday night when Lea woke up screaming with what I presumed to be a sore throat. Like I said, "illness or act of God". We didn't know the act of God was to come and we hadn't even gotten to Myrtle Beach yet. So yes Lea had a cold. We found a primary care doctor on Lea's insurance who said "Yep, she's sick." But he said she'd get well just as quickly having fun and swimming if she felt up to it. Lea didn't get any sicker so it turned out ok. We made sure she took her naps and got warm right after swimming. Tina started getting sick the same night and she did not fare as well as Lea. The doctor tested Lea for strep and said "no strep." Tina ended up with strep, sinus infection and bronchitis. I got sick on the last few days, but basically in time to hunker down for the storm. Dan stayed healthy the whole time. Perhaps because he didn't stay at Tina's with the germs she dragged home from the school where she teaches. But Tina had to stay and work,  so she collected germs all week to get pretty sick. But we were at the end of the first leg of our trip.  Saturday we were to head off to our beach paradise.

So once we were well medicated on baby tylenol, we planned our last leg of the vacation. Mom and Dan looking at the map plotting the course. Mom drove Margarete and Grampy in their car and we had walkie talkies to coordinate things like lunch and direction. It worked out great.



On the way to Myrtle Beach I got to sit in front like a big girl, tee hee. With Grandma in the other car, the front seat was mine. Otherwise I sit in the back with Lea which is fun, but not as spacious. For the record the songs going into Carolina were Sweet Caroline and Carolina on my Mind.

Even with me up front, Lea remained entertained. She is such a terrific traveler. She watched movies and I had a Blues Clues game for her on the laptop. We played different pretend games, colored, used magnets and did puzzles on a cookie sheet I brought that worked well for a lap desk. Here she is digging for toys in her backpack.


We finally arrived at Myrtle Beach on the Saturday before Labor Day. It turned out to be the best first day of vacation ever (even though it was our fourth day away from home). Well... best first day for me, not for Grandma. Grandma actually left her purse at the McDonalds we had lunch at so she and Grampy immediately turned around and backtracked 2 hours, but it was waiting for her when she got there with a very kind staff. Dan unpacked the incredible amount of stuff we brought with us and we were ready to hit the beach. Not more than 2 hours passed before we had our toes in the sand. Lea, Dan and I hit the beach and the pool, and Grandma and Grampy were back for dinner.

I had done some research on events in Myrtle Beach and found fireworks the day we arrived. Since Lea hadn't been well we didn't think it was a good idea for her to be out as late as fireworks would keep us, so Dan and I got to go have a mini-date night. It was a small fireworks event at what seemed to be a very residential part of town. We were very close to the fireworks and could even see the ground displays, which there was a lot of. There were these great fountains of fireworks like a sprinkler across the sky. It was really a good display. Then home for well needed rest after the final leg of our driving journey.
A very poor picture of some pretty good fireworks.

Dan and me at Fireworks


And for the most party the rest of the week was heavenly, but uneventful. 

Breakfast, beach, pool, lunch, nap, beach, pool, dinner, bed, repeat. 

Just the best vacation spot every. That complex is fantastic because the beach and pool are so accessible. Sadly Grandma started getting sick the first part of our week there, but was well enough by Wednesday to trek down to the beach and even came in the pool. Margarete went into the ocean with Dan and grampy there for support. She got a bit tousled by one wave.

Lea had no fear. We kept the floaties on her when we were on the beach and she'd get ahead of herself a few time and took a wave in the face and got knocked on her tush. But it never slowed her down long. We kept a close watch on her and always made sure someone was in front and behind her as the rip tide was pretty strong. It was odd that mid week, as the storm approached the ocean was the calmest. Literally the calm before the storm. Of course as the storm grew close on Thursday the rip tide was exhausting to stand up in. I had fun catching a few waves body surfing, riding them all the way to the shallows, only to wind up with piles of sand in my suit.

Grampy joined us on the beach almost every day. He played in the waves with Lea and they picked up shells. They had so much fun together. I also had a lot of fun with Grampy. We had such a nice visit and spent good time together.

grampy and lea on the beach


grampy and lea on the beach #2


on the beach


Looks like someone is ready to go to the beach! Lea had a enough swimsuits to wear two suits almost every day. Lea had at least 8 swim suites and Mommy had 5.


Besides swimming we built a lot of sand castles, and STOMPED a lot of sand castles. Lea  likes me to build something up so she can stomp it. I built lines of turtles for Lea to stomp on. Lea saved Grandma from attack of the turtles!

Lea even wanted to stomp other people's castles. One afternoon when Dan headed in early I took Lea back to the room from the furthest away pool, lovingly nicknamed the "monkey pool" ... anyway we went the long way back and walked on the beach instead of taking the sidewalk path. I told her if everyone who had built sandcastles that day was gone she could stomp them. I figured sandcastles were ephemeral and would be washed away at night anyway, so why shouldn't she have fun. But I didn't want her to destroy anything within sight of those who built it. And make no mistake there was some work put into sand castles on that beach. Well... to make a long story longer... on this particular day a boy and his family created not only a castle, but an entire kingdom. There must have been at least 30 sand molded castles with a wall around it. I figured we could have some real fun stomping those since the first we'd seen this kingdom was around 11 am. But alas, the family had come back to watch the tide take the kingdom. Lea and I stomped an abandoned castle and made our way to the room. We had dinner, took a bath and looked out on the balcony. The family was STILL there watching the tide eat away the kingdom. Finally around 9pm the incredibly patient mother took her son away. Mom, Grampy and I kept tabs on this crazy family taking pictures of the tide slowly eroding their kingdom. We said how crazy that they didn't have anything better to do on vacation then watch the tide, but then there we were standing on the porch watching them watch the tide, so what did that say about us?!? But it gave us something to talk about.

On the beach video


A crazy look from Lea. The googles didn't work well because the water wasn't clear enough.

Aside from our luxurious beach lounging and swimming we did each do a thing here or there.

On Tuesday, Dan, Lea and I took off for an evening on the boardwalk. There is an old part of Myrtle Beach where there are some old hotels and some really kitschy signs and a boardwalk with arcades and ice cream shops. The arcade was so neat because it was open to the beach. It was different than anything I'd ever been to and I had a blast. Lea had fun playing games and thanks to a stranger who gave us like 200 tickets we got a cool pirate toy that is still in the favorite toy rotation!
arcade video


at the arcade

playing skee ball

But the highlight of the boardwalk for me was the Gay Dolphin Gift Cove. The name alone was worth the price of a vacation, but the retro signs and the store itself were just awesome. The store was PACKED with souvenirs and decor. There were all these levels, and I don't mean different floor, but these sets of like 5 steps up to a level that would hold say religious wall hangings and blue dolphins. Another 5 steps to the left would have rooster statues and pirate collectables. A few steps down to the right would have signed ceramic collectables in a glass case and wood carved pelicans. It was bizarre and fun. The best part for me was Lea being a little me. I was concerned we wouldn't be able to stay very long, or leave without paying for stuff she'd broken... but she had little shorts on and I said, "you keep one hand in your pocket, don't touch a thing, with the other hand, hold mine." And she walked around for at least half an hour with that little hand tucked in her pocket. But she had an eye out for kitsch treasure just like Mommy. She would wander around and say (without getting the irony that Dan and I infuse the same statements with, but she's learning) "Mommy, do you need a plastic rooster?" "Daddy do you want a pelican on a stick?" "Mommy, do you want one of these?" She wouldn't even know how to describe it, but her keen 3 year old eye knew it was hideous and worth comment! That's my girl!

And as we left the board walk we saw the Carolina Moon. The South Carolina flag has a palmetto palm and a crescent moon. It turns out the moon is backwards from this photo (and a lot bigger!), but I thought it was pretty cool to see the state logo right there on our walk back to the car. 
We ate on our way back to the room at the Flamingo Grill which turned out be a bit priceier than its diner exterior. Dan and I shared a yum-delicious steak topped with lobster while Lea had her standard chicken fingers (though I tried to convince her they were Flamingo Toes... she wasn't having any of it... she just wanted to play with the pirate from the arcade.)

On Wednesday Dan went fishing. He had reserved his place on a boat several months in advance, but with the impending storm, they canceled. Looking at the surf that day we think they were just taking an easy day off or didn't have enough clients. But thanks to what Dan later stated was "the best mother-in-law ever", Grandma made some phone calls and found Dan a trolling, half-day boat. It was about the same price and while they ended up not trolling, he caught fish! But not just A FISH... He caught a shark. He also caught five snappers. We ate them on Thursday, oven-steamed in a foil pack, with wine, butter and lemon. They were delicious! What a treat.
Dan and shark

On Friday as the rain came, Grandma, Lea, Dan and I made our way to a big shopping center called Broadway on the Beach. The carousel and boat ride we looked forward to were understandably closed, but they had a playground and fudge so we were happy. On the way home we found an Irish Bar to have lunch and watch the rain from the porch. Hanna was blowing and bringing rain, but that was were we heard the locals say they'd had worse thunderstorms, so we ate and enjoyed the rain. This was where Lea played in the rain.

That was about it for outings. Like I said, mostly it was just enjoying the beach and pool and each other's company.

As we prepared for vacation Lea, Dan and I watched last year's videos and heard Grandma say "Lea, let Margarete teach you to shake your butt." So we talked a lot about Margarete shaking her butt as we prepared Lea for vacation. And it went a little something like this... 



Dan picked up more moves than Lea, but I don't know if he learned them from Margarete. Looks like he's had his moves for a few years!

Stuck inside, with the pools closed and rain on the beach we tried a game of yatzhee. 

We battened down our hatches, rode out the storm, and packed up for the trip home. Again Grandma drove Margarete and Grampy to Agusta. Margarete tried to find reasons for us to dawdle and visit, but we hit the potty and were back on the road for a long trip home. The ride home always seems longer than the road there. I guess it's the lack of excitement over your new destination.  I can't imagine looking forward to anything more than I looked forward to sleeping in my own bed after almost two weeks away. 

The ride home wasn't as tough as some drives we've had and we all fared well, especially our youngest little trooper. Home sweet home, and time to prepare for Grandma JoAnn's visit!

Bowling with Teresa

We took Robert and Teresa bowling for Teresa's birthday (its not until Aug. 31, but we'll be on vacation in sunny Myrtle Beach!) We had a blast! We went up to a place called Strikz in Frisco.

We bowled, we ate, we played games.Everyone seemed to have a really good time. Lea was in heaven rolling balls, playing with Teresa.
Lea and Teresa at the bowling alley

Teresa's awesome rental shoes.


I actually won a game of bowling. I don't think I've ever beat Dan before.

Even Lea did pretty well. Of course she had the benefit of bumpers. This bowling alley had them come up automatically when it was Lea's turn. Pretty cool and high tech. They also had a metal frame that helped Lea bowl. She put the ball up and pushed it down a ramp. She did pretty well. Although when I helped her I forgot to move the metal stand for the second frame and the ball would inevitably go right through the hole the first ball left. Bright, Mommy!
Dan helps Lea bowl with a metal frame made just for kiddos.

The group shot.

After bowling we played a few games. It was half price day at the arcade so we got WAY too many credits, but we had fun with reckless abandon. Daddy's favorite was Deal or No Deal and ended up with a pile of tickets. I liked the snowmobile game. Lea and Teresa and Robert all played a car race game, but Lea ended up going the wrong direction.
Here is Lea at the Wack-a-mole

And we ended up with 358 tickets. I bargained with the ticket taker to get us 2 bears (valued at 200 tickets each) so that Lea and Teresa could have matching bears. Teresa chose purple and Lea chose yellow (until the way home when she said she wanted purple like Teresa, but now she's happy with yellow.)

We've started ballet class

Lea took her first official Ballet class yesterday (Tuesday Aug. 19). We went for one trial ballet class two weeks ago to make sure she liked it. She did. They did a lot of little kid games, like a princess walk and walking like a bear (downward dog on the go) and jumping like a frog. The best, I thought was "going on a bear hunt." Its a song where you "walk through the forest" so you take big steps sweeping pretend grass out of the way, then "travel in the canoe" where you pretend to paddle, then "go over the bridge" so you walk on tip toe, and so on and so on. Then you find the bear, which in this instance was a little stuffed bear the teacher had put up on a shelf. Lea said "Oh, its just a stuffed bear." It was so funny to me. She even went over to the teacher and said "Its just a stuffed bear."

Lea getting ready for the tryout class.

Pretty ballerina waiting for class on her carpet.



Lea interacted with the other girls very cutely. That's what I think will be best about the class is having friends she sees every week.




I went with Lea to the tryout class, but did not get to go to the first class. It is something that can get Daddy and Lea out of the house, so I'm not supposed to go, but boy did I want to. She's so adorable with her hair pulled back in her LEAtard. I explained it was called a leotard, and she ran to Daddy and said "This is my LEAtard." And she loves the ballet shoes! I talk to little footsies every night and they say they love the ballet shoes too!

The class seems to end with ribbons on sticks. Dan got some pictures of the girls twirling their ribbons. And there is some video of that too. All the video is from the tryout class.

Her teacher's name is Miss Amanda who seems very good with the girls. She said to us after the tryout class, "If they didn't cry it was a success." I like a woman with low expectations. Seriously, what she meant was that Lea was kind of shy and I'm sure there's been a melt down or two on the floor. There was one little girl at the tryout class (the last class of the summer session) who would NOT do anything without her mom, so I joined in a bit to get Lea going, but removed myself halfway through. Since I wouldn't be there every week, I felt it important not to set a precedent. Dan said at the first real class she was hesitant on some things, but got involved in the big stuff. Sounds like next week she will get to stand next to Miss Amanda so she can help her be less shy about moving around. But if we stick with it... Rather, as we stick with it, we have 9 months to go. And a recital in June. I don't expect it to be more than the little girls waving their ribbons on sticks around, but perhaps I will be surprised! I am excited about our first recital of any sort.





video link if the above playlist does not work

The Big 3 Ring Circus Party

Lea's 3rd Birthday (3 ring circus!) was a complete success. We had so much fun. As usual, Mommy had grand plans and Daddy made them all come to reality. We had a make shift big top. A cardboard box circus train and an acrobat course. Mommy's vision realized thanks to Daddy's hard work!

I put together some circus posters, that I am rather proud of, to decorate the fence. I found some posters on a college collection website and changed out the text for the toddler/pre-school theme.
Circus Posters slideshow


The party began with some outside play. We put together our pre-school sized acrobat course and, when completed, the kids got a sticker. Leo ended up with 6 stickers. The stickers were a hit! Here, Lea leads Molly and Anna on the "tightrope" as Dylan watches and waits her turn.

The tumbling area was the second stop on the course. This was not too popular until I sat down and helped the kids flip over, then many of the kids were tickled to roll over.

Last on the course was the trapeze swing, the most popular stop. Daddy pushes Lea on the trapeze swing

This was the most popular and has become a permanent fixture in our back yard. Lea still loves it. While both Lea and Leo tried to push the boundaries by pulling up a chair and jumping off, (which we quickly put the kibosh on) they were content to be swung by Dan. He could get them pretty high (as seen in the videos at the end). The kids loved the swing.



In between acrobat course play, the kids ran around in the circus train, painted and put together by Daddy. He did such a great job putting this fun play area together. Grandpa Dan bought us great inflatable animals for our menagerie. Lea, Leo and Dylan played a game of runaway monkey (also in the videos at the bottom).

Dylan and Lea peek out of the Circus Train

Lea and Dylan in the Circus Train

The managerie


And once all our guests arrived and had some outside play time, we made our way inside for the best puppet show ever. Mia and her friend Lucy put on a wonderful marionette puppet show with the help of Leo (who helped set up the different scenes). The kiddos sat perfectly for the show with help from some hulless popcorn snacks and juice bags, but mostly I think parents and kids sat enraptured by the great show. Mia and Lucy used a combination of dolls, stuffed animals and crafted puppets to do Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Teddy Bear Picnic and more verses to the Itsy Bitsy Spider than anyone knew (well I guess the girls knew them, but I was amazed!). My favorite of their puppets was the glow worm which was a large plastic tube (like a can for tennis balls) with yellow pipe cleaners inside for the glow. That one really struck me as inventive, but all of the puppets were great. I would be remiss if I didn't mention Super Bear. Lea is quick to remind me of Super Bear. Super Bear was baby bear who kept wanting to fly around and interrupt things. This was a cute addition and transition throughout the show. The little kids really loved super bear and his super hero call of "Su-u-u-per Bear"
The Puppeteers in front of their adoring audience

The puppeteers Lucy and Mia with their stage hand Leo.


Aunt Teresa got Lea a "3" ribbon that she wore with pride.

Aunt Bonny and Lalanya got in the spirit of the party with clown noses. Bonny and Lalanya brought lots of clown paraphernalia. The noses were a big hit. We also got a flower that squirted water. Dan and I had Lea convinced that it just blew air for a while, but she got wise somehow and we made it a pool toy. Lea squirts it at us when we "smell the flower," but it also makes a good fountain.

Lea and Lucy with clown noses.


After the puppet show it was time for presents and cake. That went swiftly and wonderfully. Lea got wonderful presents from everyone. Thank you so much to everyone. We've had so much fun with all the presents.
Lea with one of her fabulous presents. Sleeping Beauty and her pretty dresses.

Lea in her new Tinkerbell hat blowing out her candle.


And finally (if you're 3) it was time to swim. I put swimming on the invitation because I knew that the kids would see the pool while playing outside, and we swam last year. I was very worried it was too much to ask of the guests and fretted that the moms would leave before swimming, but everyone was all for swimming. The kids asked a few times "is it time to swim yet?" All the kids got in the pool, and many parents too. Who knew our little pool would hold so many people? It was so fun to swim with everyone and I was thrilled that everyone was excited about it. Really what better way is there to spend a July afternoon?

The look of joy on Daddy's face as he soaks in monkey soup
We had a blast. The next day, when it was just me and Lea in the pool, I asked, "do you like the pool better like this or filled with your friends?" "With friends," Lea quickly answered.

The kids played around out of the pool too. Here are Kris, Lea and Wilder playing with the new water channel table.


Lea (and mommy) had a perfect 3rd birthday. We really had so much fun. It all happened very fast and I kept losing my camera, so thanks to the people who helped me put together these photos. Nothing shows how much fun Lea had better than this photo of Lea running with the reckless abandon of being three.


Here is the Video Playlist. It covers the gamut of the party.


And here is a link for all the photos.

http://picasaweb.google.com/girlygirl449/Birthday72708242PM?authkey=ZZHDiqN2Oi0